Maldives Edition, Villingili March 2019

In this edition Brenda gets water in her dive mask and I covet a fellow diver’s equipment (no, camera) and get harassed by an attention seeking wrasse.

As much as we loved Sri Lanka, we were at least happy to escape the tyranny of square plates. Would somebody send them a copy of the memo.

I find an informative sign a thing of value. Like the one at the breakfast buffet cereals section where the label for the brown flakes was “brown flakes”.

We stayed at the Shangri-La Villingili. Absolutely beautiful resort in a magnificent setting. Felt like there was a 2:1 staff to guests ratio.

The food in the resort was really very good. Although one waiter admonished us for choosing the healthy Arabic (boring) options.

Lots of fresh local tuna. Seafood is mostly imported from Australia would you believe and there were Aussie lamb chops, Tandoori style, like you’ve never had them before. You know it makes sense.

Wine is again expensive, especially when you have a yearning like me to explore the world of the grape and it’s many hangovers.

Brenda was heard to say “I don’t need to jam that much champagne into an afternoon”. I am not making this up (although it may be out of context/character).

In our first day a diving the first site was a WW2 wreck of a British oil tanker sunk by a Japanese submarine circa 1942. We weren’t allowed any penetration during the dive because of the size of my equipment. You should have been expecting a penis joke sooner or later.

The wrasse who bit me.

Sensational snorkelling with a reef drop off only 50 metres from the over-water bungalows. Reminiscent of Treasure island in Fiji in 2002. While there, I was photographing a few large parrot fish feeding on some coral when a small wrasse bit me on the back of the knee, several times. Seemed he wanted to be in the photo and posed for several shots.

Second day below the surface we had a couple of wall dives, one in inside the atoll and the other facing into the Indian Ocean. Brilliant. Turtles, manta and eagle rays, huge wrasse, tuna, clown, surgeon and unicorn fish and a lot more.

Room 258. Kev and Sue had the best one, 259.

Back to Negombo before flying home. Our driver for trips to/from the airport was another Katter clone with a dash of Elvis flair.

Room 404.

Sunup.

There is a range of duty free white goods for sale at Colombo airport. Brenda had to give up her seat for the new wine fridge. Luckily she was able to get a seat in economy.

Smiling, helpful immigration officials an oxymoron you say. Well not in Sri Lanka.

We managed to make it through the trip again without a major dust up, for which we are infamous. There was however a near miss, although we have had to sign a nuclear disarmament treaty with the USA.

Until next time. Ayubowan.

Sundown.

 

Sri Lanka Edition, Sigiriya and Negombo March 2019

I’ve had some mixed at best feedback about our travel observations. Some excerpts: “keep your day job”, "didn’t know bankers could be this funny” and “as a blogger you were once good at volleyball”. Lets just say your input has been reviewed, analysed and destroyed (not necessary in that order).

Looking forward, we continue with more frivolous holiday rambles. In this edition I deconstruct microeconomic price theory (just to spice things up) and Brenda drinks a creaming soda.

We went through the middle of the county at Matale on route to Sigiriya and the nearby ancient capitals of Anuradhapura and Polonnaruwa. Both reminded us of the old capitals, Sukhothai and Si Satchanalai, in Thailand.

Drivers the world over love the sport of complaining about the nuisance of smaller conveyances that negotiate the traffic with greater agility, ie motor bikes and tuk tuks.

Lots of businesses along the way selling after-market car parts from gear boxes to bonnets. You can even buy half a car - front or back, no worries. One road seller specialised heavily in the niche car jack segment.

Stayed at a boutique hotel called Water Garden with vast grounds and very large, well appointed villas. The grounds were teeming with birdlife, including several peacocks and peahens. And again we saw many fireflies at night.

Had a similar experience to Laos when climbing the “rock to see another rock“. As we scrambled over boulders and through jungle, sometimes on all fours, in our best adventure kit, a local guy walked past us in thongs while talking on the phone and carrying two bottles of water in the other hand. Fortunately on his occasion there were no rice paddies for me to go arse up in.

The site was actually Pidurangala Rock from which you can see Sigiriya: The Lion Rock of Sri Lanka.

Lion Rock is the location of King Kashayapa’s fifth century palace and fortress. It made me think of Machu Picchu perched on top of a very large rock, except on a smaller scale.

Some might say he had the kash and the kashay to build such a magnificent place, however he was actually kovetous of the krown and killed his father to become king. He then spent much of his time trying to defend his kash, krown and kingdom from the rightful heir, his brother, until kommitting suicide.

 

The Lion Rock of Sri Lanka: Sigiriya from the other rock.

I did tire of the constant shoes on, shoes off, socks on, socks off, frock on, frock off (yes I was close to suggesting that) at all the Buddhist sacred sites. Apparently there are no degrees of sacred.

Think there are a couple of potentially huge business opportunities for visiting the sacred sites. First would be a fashion conscious range of knickerbockers so your knees are covered. (Did I just use “fashion” and “conscious” in the same sentence?) Second would be large slide on fake feet that would go over your shoes.

Following another hair-raising near miss our driver confided he had plenty of insurance to cover himself and we should not worry about any collateral tuk tuk and motor bike damage.

Very expensive to own a car in Sri Lanka. For the Australian price of a mid range C class Mercedes or 3 series BMW you can buy a 10 year old Honda Fit Shuttle or Airwave station wagon.

Another question that has been puzzling me (like the one about exchanging larger denomination notes) - do monks get wet when it rains? Of course not silly, they have umbrellas.

Learnt something of the age-old vocation of “toddy tapping”, the technique for making Arrack (grog) from coconuts. Apparently it’s as much an ancient art as a science (and all natural because coconuts are grown in the ground). The spirit is perhaps the genesis for the saying “crazier than a coconut”.

They make a fine croissant in Sigiriya.

Sri Lankans drive on the correct side of the road and walk on the wrong side.

To many farmers in the district, the roads are seen more as a highly efficient rice drying technology rather than a place for cars, busses and the like.

Room number 8 (again).

On the drive from Sigiriya to Negombo and shortly after our driver had sought a review of his services via the travel agency, he narrowly managed to miss being a t-bone sandwich between a bus and a truck while overtaking said bus. Is it a thumbs down for the manoeuvre or a thumbs up for the near miss?

As you can probably guess I’m still not enamoured with the hired driver arrangement in Sri Lanka.

Saw a tuk tuk hybrid. Pretty sure it was badge engineered.

They love a service survey in hotels and restaurants. We were only in the hotel in Negombo for about three hours before being asked to give it a rating.

Room number 317.

Last edition for this trip coming up from Villingili in the Maldives.

The beach front in Negombo (with crows).

Sunset over the Indian ocean (with crows).

 

Sri Lanka Edition Elle, Nuwara Eliya, Kandy March 2019

In this edition I watch a train going over a bridge and Brenda buys some pants.

Sri Lanka, Ceylon, Lanka is a marvellous holiday destination. The people especially are friendly, considerate and helpful. Thailand is called the land of smiles, however perhaps whomever penned that phrase hadn’t yet to visit Sri Lanka.

The stout has been rationed. No smiles.

I’ve always said the best place for a u-turn is on a sharp bend on a mountain road.

The place names have way too many vowels I think. Instead of all five appearing at least twice in every name a more economical approach would seem logical. Think of the effect on global warming with all that hot air required to pronounce the names. For example, Agunukolapelessa, Dachchahalmillewa, Galenbindunuwewa or Maradankadawala. My favourite, Bogawantalawa, which I think has more to do with methane.

The dogs all look the same. Sort of light brown, skinny and a bit like a dingo.

I think we paid more for a bumpy road in Ella.

Room 112.

The train trip from Ella to Nuwara Eliya is very scenic. Vast swathes of eucalypt forrest on the way.

Tunnel number 20 was my favourite. We must have gone through at least a couple of dozen.

We’ve heard several different pronunciations of the town Nuwara Eliya from Nurelleia to Narelle-Eliea, all which sound like my sister’s name. We settled on Narelleville, however still too many vowels.

Stayed in the Grand hotel that is a time warp to the bygone colonial era. Complete with endless dark wood fixtures, fittings and furniture, a large topiary garden, billiard and cigar rooms; even an air rifle range.

Chocolate scones at high tea however, will simply not do darling.

Wine is very expensive in hotels, in some cases five times the Dan Murphy’s price. Beer is reasonable and very cheap at supermarkets.

Brenda might have had a small tanty when presented with the wine of the month as the only by the glass option. Who can blame her it was Yellowtail sav blanc.

Saw fireflies again. Haven’t seen them since Laguna Bacalar in Mexico in 1997.

What is it with tea bags in the land of tea?

Room 322.

On the train again from Nuwara Eliya to Kandy we had seats reserved for the clergy. They must all be on trial somewhere.

The train trip is again very scenic and regarded as one of the best in the world.

The train stations at Nuwara Eliya and Kandy had segregated waiting rooms for men, women and foreigners. The foreigner rooms had comfy chairs that were wider in the seat.

We had a great first full day in Kandy town walking the streets. Chaotic, hot, noisy, smelly and fun.

Saw Bob Katter’s Sri Lankan doppelganger.

What is it with changing large denomination notes into small? Almost all places expect exact money, however if they don’t accept larger and provide smaller in change, how can you get small notes in the first place? Seems this circular argument is endemic to south east asia.

Brenda was evicted from the temple of the tooth for indecency. Fortunately my dress was long enough and I did wear longer underpants (on the inside).

Most popular tuk tuk slogan in Kandy is “save your money”.

Other tuk tuks have permanent “not for hire” signage on the front. A bit like the restaurant called calorie counter.

New game is trying to finish off the tuk tuk slogans - “running in the wind” …creates the bird nest look …isn’t good for your perm …better have a GHD.

There are more crows than curries in Sri Lanka.

Actually, would appear most curry meals are served with at least six accompanying curry dishes. A royal curry meal has 64, which begs the 64 curry question.

Stayed in a very swish boutique hotel where I was fiendishly fooled by instant coffee, thinking it was at least from a filter machine. Reputation in tatters.

Room 8.

Next edition from Sigiriya and Negombo.

 

Sri Lanka Edition Colombo, Galle & Sinharaja March 2019

Hello again

In this edition Brenda finds some underpants and I eat a roti.

 

Really quite liked Colombo and the olde worlde Galle Face Hotel. Colombo isn’t favourably regarded in many tourist reviews for sites of interest and things to do. I say check it out.

Interesting recent history concerning the struggle with the Tamils and how it came to a rather violent end in 2009 with the aid of the Indian military (who had alledgeldy supported the Tamils for a long time). The terrorist bomb attack on the central bank in 1996, which crippled the country’s economy for more than a decade says a lot about the methods of the Tamils. It also doesn’t reflect well on risk/disaster management by the government of the time.

What is it about rather ordinary filter coffee on holidays that makes it taste ok? Damien would think it pointless.

Seem to be forming a habit for dining in restaurants owned by retired test cricketers. The latest was Ministry of Crab owned by Jayawardene and Sangakkara. They serve a “lagoon” crab, which I think is a mud crab as we know it. Sizes from small to crabzilla. Delicious. “Keep Calm and Crab On.”

Love bathroom products with big print because I’m usually not wearing my glasses.

Don’t love bathroom products that are too heavy, slippery and ungainly in shape, whereby you pour the entire contents onto your feet upon opening.

The hotel had a great “gingman” for the ravens, dressed in the typical sub-contintent military attire of a British army officer.

Room number 2021.

The fort precinct in Galle is such a pretty place, filled with old dutch architecture. We had an Air B&B house that was simply stunning, complete with a sort of butler (Madu) that cooked breakfast and cleaned daily.

Directly across the small street is a Buddhist temple. Good Karma, not bad Warren (Michael P will get it).

Brenda was doing her best Tom Jones impersonation in the garden and in flew a pair of underpants owned by a Frenchman from next door. I was having a snooze.

What is the YMBA you say? Young Men’s Buddhist Association “where you can get a good meal”. Not sure how to do the “B”.

Many of the Tuk Tuks have slogans, which seem to mostly derive from song lyrics, cliches, old jungle sayings and the like. I’ll put as many as I can photograph in a separate post later on. My favourite so far “Think Before Jumping” - well usually. I’ve concluded Tuk Tuk drivers are life coaches for tourists and the slogans represent their personal brand.

Lion lager is the local beer. They also make a strong stout, to which I’m quite partial.

Heard Lara’s Theme playing from inside the house and immediately thought, Mr Whippy the ice cream van. Alas no, it was the garbage collection. Heard it again a couple of hours later. This time it was the mobile bread vendor. Neither of them has a playlist.

There is a restaurant called “Calorie Counter”, which seems at odds with its purpose?

We’ve determined the rotis are a bit tough, which has to do with the kneading process I’m informed.

Sudharmalaya street, no room or street number.

From Galle we had a driver to Sinharaja for a next day trek through the renowned rain forrest reserve. I’m not quite sure about the purpose of the centre line on the roads, given there’s an invisible centre lane that most cars, trucks and motorbikes seem to use. Maybe you’re supposed to follow it?

Saw the banana panorama in Unawantuna.

In Sinharaja after getting a bit lost (no I wasn’t driving or using the GPS) we stayed at Sinharaja Rest owned by a local guy, Pali, that has been guiding through the forest since 1994. A real character and very knowledgable.

Saw blue faced monkeys. Must have been holding their breath.

I’m struggling to recommend the driver thing in Sri Lanka. Ours was very late, didn’t know where to go and generally not very good. Also the cars are supposed to be of a standard, however ours had a flat because one of the tyres was so out of alignment it had worn through to the steel belts. Unfortunately I don’t think driving yourself is an option.

Room number 2.

 

 

Hong Kong Edition March 2019

Hello from honkers

Really should be the place of food photos. Case in point, rainbow cheese sandwich.

Loads of funny signs, some with mangled English. I wonder if we have the same in Oz, probably not because we just expect tourists and visitors to speak Austrayun or Queenslandah (rimes with verandah).

Loved the train direction signs within the airport where there was only one stop, one destination, one direction, one line, one station… Confusing because it wasn’t.

Dinner the first night included the most delicious kale I’ve ever eaten, enhanced with rice wine and ginger. Added to this were essential pork and goose protein, of course. Who’d have thought “delicious” and “kale” could exist in the universe?

Thought I’d struck on a bargain, while still quite relatively expensive, for the matching burgundy, a 2012 grand cru from Beaune. Ahh, that will be the price for a glass…

Went on a foodie walk around central HK island on Saturday, which we really enjoyed. Saw pig roasting ovens that can do a whole pig in 1.5 hours. Getting one of those for home.

It has become the norm with restaurants in central HK to have the cooking and cleaning done in the outer suburbs and transported in/out a few times a day, because the rent is so high it’s more economical than having the space in the city. Capitalism at its worst.

Rainbow cheese sandwich.

Climbed the peak on Sunday with the aid of a tram. There were four “stations” on the way and someone got on half way up. Walked down pretending to all the passersby we had walked up.

Also saw “maid’s day“, which has become something of a phenomenon in central HK. Fantastic atmosphere around the streets as there are thousands of the maids filling the streets eating, dancing and relaxing.

Could have easily bought one of the antique cars for sale on maid’s day; Aston DB5, Maserati Sebring, Trans Am, Stingray… You can imagine the look on Brenda’s face already…

Went to dinner at an Alain Ducasse restaurant and finally get why people rave about camembert. Matched with a grand cru burgundy with age (the wine not me). Splendid.

High tea at The Peninsula, darling.

Honkers is crazy about aircon. Apparently its a sign of wealth to have it seriously cold. And, the latest fashion is “indoor coats”. Temperatures of 15 degrees or less have been recorded in some shopping centres. I hate to think what that’s doing to the environment.

There are Teslas everywhere. Gonna be some serious competition between them and the airconeers for power.

If you happen to be in Honkers, you must go to Bo Innovation, thanks for the tip Hans & Nora. Three Michelin Star and absolutely stunning food. Expensive, although we’ve paid more and been less delighted. Had a Hungarian Tokai with proper French foie gras; marvellous, plus two other stunning whites from Austria and Germany.

Also had a palette cleanser that presented in a bottle like motor oil, the liquid itself looked like radiator anti-freeze and it tasted a bit of mouthwash. Weirdly, for the rest of the day I seemed to be able to slip through the crowds, felt quite warm and had fresh breath.

I’ve started collecting room numbers. HK 1525.

Look out for upcoming Sri Lanka editions.

G&B